Tuesday, October 28, 2008

all i want for christmas is...

a few days off, a tank full of gas, a few good friends, a few substances to abuse, some instruments to play and the open road.

I miss exploring LA. i miss the city. I miss being a dumbass kid who thought she could get away with anything (and for the most part did). I miss lying in the back of his convertible with my feet up and my eyes closed, trying to think as little and feel as much as possible. i miss the days when no music was too loud, no distance was too far, no risk too big.

I miss oblivion. I miss not giving a fuck. It's something that I realize I'll never genuinely feel again. but sometimes when the weather's just right, if i close my eyes and lie in the sun and the right song comes on my ipod i can pretend i'm young again, because i'm never too old to pretend.

i wrote a poem about him in class today. it goes:

sit me on your lap
push me to the floor
bold and craven from your body
i'm hungry at your feet.

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