naked, wet, and freezing fucking cold.

what a way to start off the New Year.


what can i say? i am finding it increasingly difficult to give a fuck about this academic drudgery.

as long as i can remember, my life has been a perpetual eternal daydream. i live as another person that doesn't quite exist. i'm always saying something i'll never say. i'm always seen as a person i'll never be. i'm always in someone's arms that i'll never meet. sometimes i can't feel anything at all and those are the best times of all. the people that i love are as they are, and not the way i wish them to be.

i want to spend my days lost and lonely in a ceramics studio, drinking wine and crying into clay in the night. i want to live on wine and coffee all night and sleep during the day.